Sometimes I feel bad about how hard it is to change the world. It seems that change for the worse happens so much more quickly and easily than change for the better. It feels like we’re fighting a losing battle, because all the power and money is concentrated on the wrong side. Sometimes I just […]
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Watch my life unravel...
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Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my breast cancer surgeon. That MRI I had last Friday night? It found something. I’ve got a new lump in my right breast. It’s very small, it might not be cancer, it might just be scar tissue, but it’s in a completely different area of my breast than the […] Last night we went to Irene’s Pub to see Hella Stella perform, because how often do you get an opportunity to see one of your favourite people performing at one of your favourite pubs? Fellow bloggers Milan and La Canadienne were there too. Hella Stella was excellent, as always, and we even stayed for a […] It’s the waiting. The layers and layers of waiting. Every single thing in this cancer experience involves waiting. Sitting in big waiting rooms that lead to smaller waiting rooms that lead to machinery and tests that lead to seven to ten working days until the doctor gets the results, that lead to appointments that later […] I had the MRI last night at the Civic Hospital around 10:00. Did you know they have MRIs scheduled round the clock? Fortunately, Donna Lee had left a comment giving me some idea of what to expect – ie, lying on my stomach with my breasts dangling through two holes in the table. Otherwise, when […] Wednesday I get started on the diagnostic imaging. At 7:30 in the morning they’re going to do an abdominal ultrasound to see if there’s any spread of the cancer to my liver. After that, they’ll do a chest x-ray to see if there’s any cancer in my lungs. On Thursday morning I go to the hospital […] This morning my phenomenal primary support team – Duncan, GC and Donna – gathered at my place for coffee, and then we headed off to meet with the surgeon, the resident, the intern, the home support nurse (who is a breast cancer survivor herself) and the social worker. (Duncan opted to stay behind and […] The hardest part is the fear. Since I don’t know the magnitude of the problem yet – ie, what stage it is, and whether the cancer has spread beyond the original tumour – I sometimes feel very much at the mercy of my worst fears. I was lying in bed this morning thinking about the […] I’m so touched by all the support I’ve been getting from everybody over the past couple of days. It’s overwhelming, and deeply, deeply touching. And it certainly brightens up the darker, scarier corners of my mind. I’m still getting used to the idea that I have cancer. One of the things I’ve noticed is that my […] It all started with a routine mammogram in March, just a few days before I got laid off. The mammogram was no big deal: I’ve had haircuts that hurt more. Did you know that immediately after they do the mammogram, a nurse conducts a physical breast exam? The nurse found a lump, but for some […] |
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