Knitnut.net. Watch my life unravel...
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Posted by zoom! on October 25, 2008, at 3:05 pm |
I had my first facial ever on Thursday night. It was my birthday present to myself. I went to Oresta’s, the Organic Skin Care Confectionery at the corner of Pretoria and O’Connor.
I arrived precisely at the appointed time, and after a few minutes Tracey the Esthetician came out and whispered to me that it would be a few more minutes before we could get started because her previous client was just finishing up. Several minutes later the door opened and out came the previous client – surprise! – it was my friend Lori. (Lori told me it was all her fault my appointment was starting late, because she kept begging Tracey not to stop.)
Some other surprises:
1. A facial only starts with your face.
2. A facial is done on a bed, similar to a massage table.
3. You take off all your clothes and put on a gown.
4. Eyebrow plucking fucking hurts.
5. Extraction isn’t fun either.
6. A facial is about 5% discomfort and pain and 95% comfort and bliss.
7. Everything they put on your face sounds edible: paprika, almonds, carrots, plums, etc. I don’t know if this is true of all facial products or just organic ones.
8. A steaming hot towel wrapped snugly around your face feels unbelievably good.
9. A skillful foot massage is pure bliss.
10. The next day you’ll catch an unexpected whiff of all those delicious aromas in the collar of your jacket. That whiff will convince you to go back to Oresta’s and buy products.
My facial lasted about 75 minutes and cost $97. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a decadent treat for yourself or someone special. (And, if $97 is out of the question right now, I’m going to do some research and write a post about how to make your face happy for a lot less.)
Posted by zoom! on October 24, 2008, at 9:28 pm |
 I was walking to work the other day and I noticed that the local florist was digging up the little trees outside his shop.
“I’m pushing 65,” he explained, “so I have to think about how much maintenance I’ll be able to do in the coming years.”
“Sixty-five?” I asked incredulously, “I’d give you about forty-five!”
“Forty-five?” he asked incredulously, “I’m giving you a rose!”
And that’s exactly what he did.
Posted by zoom! on October 22, 2008, at 5:16 pm |
Do you ever wonder why some people are more comfortable in the nude than others? There’s a whole continuum, from exhibitionists to people who don’t even want to be naked alone. Do you think it has anything to do with how attractive a person believes themselves to be?
Anyway, I just got an email from La Petite Mort art gallery and I’m passing it along in case any of you want to do some fake nude modeling and get your naked body immortalized in art.
Ludwig Ciupka is a young Montréal fashion photographer who also works in the fields of publicity and brand advertising. His art has been displayed in publications such as Z!NK. The project he is now initiating combines photography and painting—all of it emerging from an urgent and fundamental need to be in contact with “raw matter,†whether it is through pigments or flesh. This artist looks for a point of synergy between the two popular media that are photography and painting.
The basis of the concept lies in photography. By exposing in the nude persons alone, in couples, or in groups, in a neutral and dark environment, the artist wants to let emerge different fundamental feelings from each one. According to the artist, the body says a lot—it says enough. For these reasons, the artist wants to show anonymous bodies, giving the models a chance to free themselves of their inhibitions and to let their bodies speak, whether they have a message to deliver or not.
* It is very important to note that the work will be “faux nus†[fake nudes]; the models will be in the nude but no sexual organs will be shown in the pictures—they will be hidden by a hand, a leg crossed, some darkness . . .
Afterwards, these very “clair-obscure†[low-key] photos will be transferred to a canvas-like medium. The artist will attempt to further “sculpt†the human emotions with paint. This whole process will be used with the intent to create impressive, but delicate art, rocking cocoons of fundamental feelings—where everyone will be able to secretly recognize themselves”.
The photographer is asking for a full body shot (not nude) attached to your email. Contact Ludwig Ciupka directly at: modeling@komorov.com
Posted by zoom! on October 21, 2008, at 7:18 pm |
The headache started Sunday night and I tried to convince myself I wasn’t really sick. That’s because it’s a busy week with much to look forward to, like the youth gangs meeting on Wednesday night and my first facial on Thursday night and the Cirque du Soleil on Saturday night. And also because it was my new boss’ first day on Monday.
 I went to work.
My new boss seemed very nice and she brought all this food to the staff meeting (which might not seem like a LOT of food unless you know our entire staff is only ten people).
This morning I woke up and my head was feeling worse and there were other symptoms creeping around my edges too. But still, I didn’t want to call in sick because I was looking forward to lunch with Woodsy, and besides it was only my new boss’ second day and I didn’t want to be the first person to call in sick.
But, apart from lunch with Woodsy which was lovely as always, my day sucked because my head hurt a lot and I felt tired and sore and sick. I came home after work, took a hot bath and flopped down on my bed. Duncan materialized instantly, and set to work with his own special brand of emergency first aid. He snuggled up against me, tucked his head under my chin, wrapped his big furry arm around me and turned up the volume on his biggest, rumbliest purr. I fell asleep instantly.
When I got up an hour later, I caught up a bit on my blog reading. I saw that Megan’s sick too, but she knows how to be sick in style. If I’m still sick tomorrow morning, I’m not going to work. I’m going to gather emergency supplies, wear flannel, and make the most of being sick.
Posted by zoom! on October 20, 2008, at 6:30 pm |
 Yesterday we went all the way to Kilmarnock, which is near Merrickville, to pick apples, only to discover that the apple orchard closed two weeks ago. So we came back to Ottawa and went apple picking in the Parkdale Market instead. (Later we made apple cake. Yum.)
 Afterwards we went down to Chez Lucien’s in the Byward Market for the opening of Chandler Swain and Lily Swain’s joint art show. Sharp-eyed GC noticed this. Do you see it? You can click to enlarge it. It says Zoom Zoom around the edge! And it was even titled Zoom Zoom! We were both tempted to buy it. There was a bunny plate I loved, and if the bunny plate had said Zoom Zoom around the edge, I would have been powerless not to buy it.
Speaking of powerless, the moment we stepped out of Chez Lucien’s, we couldn’t help but notice we were surrounded by zombies. There was a never-ending stream of them, moaning, clawing at us, trying to eat our brains. This illustrates perfectly why you should have your camera and your zombie survival kit with you at all times.
(I found out later that one of the zombies was a fellow blogger and he recognized me as I snapped his picture. But of course I didn’t recognize him because he wasn’t a zombie the last time I saw him.)
And of course there’s always a clown in every crowd.
By the way – I learned today that I only have a 25% chance of surviving a zombie attack. You too can take the zombie survival test by clicking on the graphic below. (Tip: If you are willing to abandon your loved ones, I think your odds of surviving the zombie apocalypse will be better than mine.)
25%
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Posted by zoom! on October 19, 2008, at 9:44 am |
[UPDATE: I fixed the charts.]
I missed my blogiversary! Knitnut.net turned three years old on October 11.
On previous blogiversaries, I’ve posted stats about how the blog’s been doing compared to other years. I’ll do the same this year.
As of October 11th, there were a total of 736 posts and 5,386 comments on this blog.
# of POSTS
Year 1: 205
Year 2: 235
Year 3: 296
TOTAL: 736
# of COMMENTS
Year 1: 491
Year 2: 1136
Year 3: 3693
Total: 5,368
As you can see, I increased my number of posts by about 25% and you more than TRIPLED your number of comments! Well done!
The following google searches continue to bring a lot of people to this blog: “ears squeak when I blow my nose,” and “22-inch penis.” This year I’m pleased to add “suppository stories” and “women’s change rooms” to the list of frequent searches.
Here’s a graph of the traffic to knitnut.net from October 4th to October 11th, 2008 (click to enlarge):
Over at Technorati, Knitnut.net ranks 262,140th among blogs, with an authority rating of 40. From what I can gather, these numbers are essentially meaningless, but I still like to track them because I have a thing for metrics.
According to Feedburner, Knitnut.net has 222 subscribers, up from 58 a year ago.
All these numbers are way up from last year, but they don’t tell the whole story. The fact is, they’ve been falling all year. (Click to enlarge)
As you can see, there was a phenomenal spike in traffic at the beginning of 2008. This spike was the result of two things:
1)This post won second prize in the Best Post category of the Canadian Blog Awards; and
2) The Yarn Harlot mentioned knitnut.net on her blog. [See here for phenomenal spike graph and analysis.]
At the risk of seeming a little obsessive compulsive about the whole thing, let’s take a look at my all-time quarterly stats:
It’s kind of like the stock market – it’s satisfying when it’s climbing, it’s thrilling when it spikes, but it’s a little depressing when you’re riding it all the way back down for months.
At any rate, I know it’s really not about the numbers. I had no idea what to expect when I started blogging, and there have been many surprises along the way. I love that my blog has brought all of you into my life. Some of my best friendships have come about as a result of blogging. Even though I’ve never met most of the people who read my blog, I love knowing that you’re out there, and that we share this connection. You add to the quality of my life in a very real way. Thank you for being here with me.
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Posted by zoom! on October 18, 2008, at 4:33 pm |
Despite all my anticipatory hysterics about turning 50, I’m pleased to report I woke up on October 15th with a smile on my face and a profound sense of inner peace about my sacred place in the ageless eternal rhythms of life.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t peace, maybe it was resignation. And maybe it wasn’t profound. And maybe I wasn’t smiling either, but at least I wasn’t weeping inconsolably for my lost youth. As for those ageless eternal rhythms of life? I don’t even know why I said that.
In spite of everything, I actually had my best birthday ever, and so far fifty’s great. (I’ve got to stop SAYING fifty though. Every time I say it or write it, I feel weird again.)
Here’s how I spent my birthday:
- There was a spectacular sunrise on my birthday, which felt like a birthday gift from the universe.
- I walked to work listening to a podcast so heartwarming it made me cry, but in a happy way.
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The guy at the Second Cup gave me my apple-cranberry muffin for free.
- My friends at work sang happy birthday to me and gave me a card with little boxes of Smarties taped all over it. I love Smarties.
- All day long I kept getting emails and facebook messages and phone calls from people wishing me a happy birthday.
- I visited the cats in the Parliament Hill Cat Colony at lunchtime, and when I got back to the office I discovered a friend of mine had dropped by the office with two yellow roses and a bag of tea for me. One of the roses was from him, and the other was from his father.
- I left work a couple of hours early.
- GC picked me up and we went to see the Pretoria Avenue art house that Tobique_Demo had told me about. It is wonderful and unique- you should go.
- Inside it is Oresta, the organic skin care confectionery. We went in and asked the woman about the house and I got distracted by all the yummy-sounding potions in jars lining the walls. Next thing I knew I was booking an appointment for a facial next Thursday. I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m looking forward to it.
- GC and I drove up to the Gatineaus and went for a hike through the forest, up to the carbide ruins with the little waterfall. We saw otters playing in Meech Lake, and we talked to a retired gentleman who goes on walking vacations – he’s walked across Ireland, Wales, New Zealand, all kinds of places. Some of his walks last 70 days. He’s learning Spanish so he can walk around Argentina this winter. I think I’d like to walk across Iceland.
- We went out for dinner and then back to GC’s place for birthday cake and balloons and presents.
All in all, a most excellent birthday. And honestly? Fifty’s not as bad as it sounds. In a few years it’ll probably start to sound young even.
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Posted by zoom! on October 17, 2008, at 9:48 am |
If you’re a blogger, you already know that sometimes it’s hard to think of anything to blog about, while at other times you have a surplus of blogging ideas. Right now I’m in overflow mode, which is a good place to be. I’m not finished blogging about poverty, and I also want to blog about my birthday, the artful mud hut building on Pretoria Street, some monumental swap box news, and my brilliant idea for a blog challenge which will include all of you.
And that’s just what I can remember. There’s more! Much, much more!
Today I’m going to blog about the monumental swap box news.
[Insert Drum Roll Here]
 The Swap Box Project has been nominated for Ottawa X Press’s “Best of Ottawa 2008”, in the category “Best Architectural Addition to the City.” !!! Congratulations to Elmaks, the original Swap Box artist, on this richly deserved honour.
Last year the Corkstown Bridge won, so you can see this is serious stuff. This year the nominees are:
- The Gladstone Theatre (910 Gladstone)
- New Desmarais Building (University of Ottawa campus)
- Irving Greenberg Theatre Centre (1233 Wellington)
- Somerset footbridge
- Swap Box Project
- War Museum (1 Vimy Place)
- All them new freakin’ condos!
- Orléans’s new art building: Shenkman Arts Centre
Some of these things are pretty impressive additions to the city. But they all cost millions of dollars and they’re anchored in place and they’re finished. The Swap Box Project is free, fluid, and ephemeral. As architecture, it’s light on its feet. It is nowhere and everywhere and it is by its very nature inclusive and participatory. It creates opportunities for serendipitous sharing on the streets of Ottawa. It brightens my day, both visually and conceptually. Of all the nominees, it is by far the greenest. And even though it’s a concept that is catching on around the world, the Swap Box Project originated in Ottawa so it will always be uniquely ours. That’s why I’m voting for the Swap Box Project.
To view a gallery of Swap Boxes, click here.
To read my previous blog posts about Swap Boxes, click here.
To VOTE for the Swap Box Project as the Best Architectural Addition to the City of Ottawa, click here. You have to vote in at least 15 categories for your ballot to count.
(Some of my other votes included: Best Pub – Irene’s; Best Cozy Nook – Aunt Olive’s; Best Deli – Luciano’s; Best Diner: Fil’s Diner; Best All-You-Can-Eat Buffet: East India Company; Best Sandwich: DiRienzo’s; Best Bike Shop: McCrank’s Cycle; Best Video Rentals: Invisible Cinema; Best Sex Shop: Venus Envy; Best Eyesore: American Embassy; Best neighbourhood in which to live: Chinatown; Best reason to jeer the city: Larry O’Brien.)
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Posted by zoom! on October 15, 2008, at 9:50 am |
(This post is my contribution to Blog Action Day. This year’s theme is Poverty.)
My son and I were on welfare together for seven years.
Poverty is not good for one’s self esteem – the stigma worms its way right into your core. While I was on welfare, I finished high school and went on to university, but I still felt unemployable. After years of being a welfare recipient, I felt like a teeny-tiny fish in a vast ocean of supremely bigger and more qualified fish. I felt like I had nothing of value to offer. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to hire me.
(By the way, it’s a lot harder now for welfare recipients to get post-secondary education than it was in the 80s. I paid my tuition with student loans, but the government has since reclassified student loans as income, and that income would now make you ineligible for welfare.)
One day I picked up the Ottawa Sun and read an article about The Other Side of Fat City, which was a report about child poverty in Ottawa. The article said something like this: “Thousands of children in Ottawa, through no fault of their own, wake up to the ugly face of poverty every morning.†I read on to discover that “through no fault of their own†was a euphemistic way of saying that poor children were the innocent victims of crappy parents.
I might have had low self-esteem with respect to getting a job, but I thought I was doing a good job of raising a good kid under difficult circumstances.
I got out my poisoned pen and wrote a letter to the editor.
“My child does not wake up to the ‘ugly face of poverty’ each morning,†I said, “He wakes up to my face.†And I went on to tell them that he was poor for reasons unrelated to my parental inadequacies, and that I actually suffered the effects of poverty more than he did, as I was the one who struggled with the practical realities of it while he remained cheerfully oblivious to the fact that we were poor. And I told them that whenever the school had a food drive for ‘the needy,’ he showed up with a can of beans just like all the other kids. So there.
The Ottawa Sun published my letter, along with their standard stupid comment beneath it.
CBC Radio called me later that day. They had read my letter and wanted to interview me live on the Morning Show. Despite my morbid dread of public speaking, I did the interview. Ironically it was during this interview that my 8-year-old son discovered he was living in poverty. It was pretty hard to answer questions like “What’s it like to be poor and raising a child?†without actually talking about being poor and raising a child. I did that interview at 8:00 in the morning while he sat wide-eyed on the couch.
“We’re poor?†he asked solemnly when I got off the phone.
“Yes,†I said, “We’re poor. But it’s okay, don’t worry, nothing has changed. We’ve always been poor.â€
Later that day, I got a call from a woman who had heard the interview and wanted to offer me two things: a pair of skates for my son, and a spot in the Line 1000 Job-Finding Club. This was an intensive three-week program for welfare recipients and people with disabilities, to help them find jobs. It included career counseling, resume-preparation, video-taped mock interviews, access to job listings, and lots of phone calls to potential employers. (I believe Line 1000 lost its funding in 2006 and doesn’t exist anymore.)
I started the Line 1000 program the following week. Before the three weeks were up, I’d landed a job. The job was subsidized through an Ontario government program, whose goal was to help welfare recipients make the transition into the workforce. Basically, only non-profit organizations were eligible for the salary subsidy and only welfare recipients were eligible for the jobs. The government would pay 80% of the salary for the first year, after which the employer could either let the employee go or hire her at full salary. It was a great program (long gone now).
When my subsidized year was up, the organization offered me a permanent, full-time position and I’ve been there ever since – 17 years now.
In addition to student loans, social assistance and supported employment programs, I also depended on subsidized child care, affordable housing, and the encouragement of family and friends. These were all key elements in my transition off welfare and out of poverty.
In retrospect, I was very lucky to have been poor in the 80s. Many of the programs and supports that helped me get off welfare have since been slashed by short-sighted governments who didn’t see their value and who preferred a more punitive approach to poverty. You’ve heard the old saying that it costs money to make money? Well, it costs money to get out of poverty too. I believe we need to invest in people who are trying to extricate themselves and their families from poverty. It’s the right thing to do and it makes good economic sense.
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Posted by zoom! on October 14, 2008, at 6:19 pm |
On my way to work this morning:
On my way home from work this evening:
I actually had to go to the polling station twice, because this year they’re requiring ID and I didn’t have any with me. If you haven’t headed to the polls yet, don’t forget photo ID and proof of address. This is my passport, my water bill, my keys and my ballot.
Also, tomorrow’s my birthday. In lieu of birthday presents, please vote anything but Conservative. Thank you.
Oh, don’t forget tomorrow is Blog Action Day. This year’s theme is Poverty. Tomorrow I’ll tell you the story of how I escaped from poverty.
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