Knitnut.net. Watch my life unravel...
|
Posted by zoom! on February 6, 2008, at 11:32 pm |
 Look! I won second prize in the Best Blog Post category for The Real Reason I Support the Crack Kit Program! I don’t even know what to say. Except thank you to Robin and Scott and the ESIs, and Yarn Harlot, and every single person who voted for me and browbeat their friends into doing the same.
I never thought I’d feel proud of anything associated with that period of my life. Weird.
Here are the other winners in the Canadian Blog Awards “Best Blog Post” category:
#1: What’s the Male of Feminism? (Mike’s Bliggity Blog Blob)
#3: Look At My Boobs! I am Very Smart! (Meg Fowler)
#4: Town Council Misunderstands Gay Pride Flag
(Slap Upside the Head)
#5: Kindness Meters? (Knitnut.net)
TAGS:
Posted by zoom! on February 6, 2008, at 6:39 pm |
Years ago I lived in an apartment at the corner of Cooper and O’Connor with my ex and five tabby cats: Mr. Jones, Catastrophe, Mean Joe, Screamer and Beethoven.
Mr. Jones and Catastrophe were brothers, and everybody else descended from one or the other of those two.
One evening we were sitting in the living room with dinner guests, enjoying some pleasant after-dinner conversation, when all of a sudden Mr. Jones came marching purposefully into the room. His eyes were strangely huge and glossy and his muscles were rippling. He was all puffed up like a lion after the hunt.
He had a used condom dangling from his mouth.
(This was back before condoms were cool.) (Used ones still aren’t, really.)
I noticed him a split second before anybody else did. It occurred to me that I should probably say something cute to make it less embarrassing for all concerned, but I couldn’t think of anything cute to say right that second.
“What’s the cat got?” one of the dinner guests asked innocently, and this was immediately followed by a little chorus of gasps as a ripple of recognition spread throughout the room.
Then we all just sat there in this weird slow-motion mortified silence, watching Mr. Jones as he strutted proudly among us, showing off his prey. Finally, when it appeared he intended to settle down and EAT it – right in front of us! – I stopped trying to think of something cute to say and tackled him, dragged him into another room and wrestled it away from him.
We did not forgive each other for quite some time.
TAGS:
Posted by Zoom! on February 5, 2008, at 7:42 pm |
Last night my son and I went out to celebrate some excellent news in his life. We met at the Carleton Tavern and then went to Absynthe’s for dinner.
While we were celebrating, the subject of cats came up. And while we were talking about cats, I happened to mention that Duncan licked my butt the other day.
As you know, Duncan likes to sit on the edge of the tub and watch me bathe. Well, I was stepping out of the tub and I suddenly felt his sandpaper tongue on my ass. It was weird.
“Maybe you shouldn’t blog that,” said James.
“You’re probably right,” I said.
 Anyway, I asked him his opinion about what it is Duncan wants when he pesters me for no apparent reason. He pokes me with his paw, with claws extended, while meowing incessantly. I figure there’s only so many things a cat can want: food, water, a clean litter box, and affection. So what’s up with this poking business when all his needs have been met?
If I follow him so he can show me what he wants, he invariably takes me to the kitchen and sits beside his food dish and wails accusingly.
“But there’s food in your dish,” I say.
“MEOW!!!” says Duncan, “MEOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!”
Then I have to take the dish and point to the food, at which point Duncan will look shocked, stop harrassing me, and chow down.
“So,” I said to James last night, “Why do you think he does that?”
“Hmmm,” said James, “Have you considered the possibility that he’s just not that bright?”
“Duncan?” I exclaimed incredulously, “He’s brilliant!”
“How can you tell?” asked James.
Well, you know, once I got thinking about it, I realized it’s not that easy to tell if your cat is bright or not.
“What about your cats?” I asked, “Are they smart?”
“Zeke and Charles are smart,” he said, “But Alley? Not so much.”
And he couldn’t really say why either. (Although he did say he has to sit with her while she eats and remind her to chew her crunchies, otherwise she just inhales them whole.)
 I do have one example of something Duncan has done that would support my belief that he’s brilliant. He watered his own plant!
One of my colleagues gave him a cat grass plant as a gift. I keep it on a counter, and bring it down once in awhile for him to chew on. One day I came home from work and discovered that Duncan, in an act of sheer genius, had removed the plant from its pot, and placed it in his water dish!
TAGS:
Posted by Zoom! on February 4, 2008, at 4:17 pm |
Knitnut.net took fourth place in the Best Activities Blog category of The Canadian Blog Awards!
Hearty congratulations to fellow knitters Yarn Harlot who won, and Dr. Steph of And She Knits Too, who came in second.
Third prize went to a genealogical blog. (I know, I know, I was wondering the same thing – who can write a whole blog about their nether regions?? But it turns out it’s the other kind of genealogical blog.)
Knitnut.net came in fourth, while Maple Syrup and Poutine – a Canadian food blog – took fifth.
Anyway, I was perusing the fourth place winners in the other categories, and I’m in good company. Even though we didn’t win any official graphic prizes (only the First, Second and Third place winners got those) I still think we should Go Fourth with Pride.
The Canadian Blog Awards implemented a staggered release schedule for the announcements of winners (complete with videos!), so more are expected over the next few days. I’ll keep a running list of the fourth place winners here.
Without further ado, here are the
Go Fourth With Pride winners (I hope I didn’t miss any!):
Category: Best Blog: Daveberta
Category: Best Group Blog: Peace, Order and Good Government, Eh?
Category: Best Political Blog: Uncorrected Proofs
Category: Best New Blog: Uncorrected Proofs
Category: Best Activist Blog: Persephone’s Box
Category: Best Sci/Tech Blog: WinExtra
Category: Best Podcaster/Vlogger: The Galacticast
Category: Best Podcaster/Vlogger: The Audio Circus
Category: Best GLBT Blog: Queer-Liberal
Category: Best GLBT Blog: Montreal Simon
Category: Best Blog Post: Town Council Misunderstands Gay Pride Flag (Slap Upside the Head)
Category: Best Blog Post Series: Canadian Cynic
Category: Best Blog Post Series: One Old Green Bus
Category: Best Photo/Art Blog: Write About Here (YAY!)
Category: Best Personal Blog: Schmutzie’s Milk Money or Not
Category: Best Education Blog: Remote Access
Category: Best Blogosphere Citizen: Angella of Dutch Blitz
Category: Best Progressive Blog: Uncorrected Proofs
Category: Best Conservative Blog: Joanne’s Journey
Category: Best French Language Blog: Le Blogue de Joseph Facal
Category: Best Sports Blog: Hockey Capital
Category: Best Local Blog: Blog TO
Category: Best Humour Blog: Mitchieville
Category: Best Business Blog: My Name is Kate
Category: Best Family Blog: Don Mills Diva
Category: Best Religious Blog: Hell in a Handbasket
Category: Best Entertainment/Cultural Blog: Food Court Lunch
Category: Best Non-Partisan Blog: Waking Up on Planet X
Category: Best Media/Celebrity Blog: James Mirtle
Category: Best Military Blog: What the F*&#!?!?
Tags:
Posted by zoom! on February 3, 2008, at 11:49 am |
When my baby was just a couple of weeks old, he went five days without a dump! On the sixth day, I went to the drugstore and bought a baby suppository, which I administered while he was lying crosswise on the changing table with his bum facing me. (You see where this is going, don’t you?)
The suppository exceeded my wildest expectations. It produced one of those experiences that instantly sears itself into your permanent memory. As a matter of fact, I still remember exactly what I was wearing that day: a light blue cotton blouse, maternity jeans and running shoes.
So. Six days worth of backlog exploded out of the baby and onto my light blue cotton blouse. From there, it slid down my blouse and dripped onto my shoes, and then onto the floor where it formed ever-deepening pools. And it just kept coming and coming, always following that same trajectory.
Being new at this sort of thing, I was not prepared for the volume. I had a little green terrycloth facecloth and a fresh diaper. That’s it. So I yelled out to John, who was watching TV in the other room, to bring me some paper towels. There must have been a sense of urgency in my voice, because John came running on the double with a whole roll of paper towels.
But he only made it as far as the bedroom door. He took one look, saw what was happening, doubled over and started gagging and puking. He couldn’t stop.
For some reason I always found John’s weak stomach hilarious, so I started laughing uncontrollably. The more the baby pooped, the more John puked, and the more John puked, the more I laughed. We were all totally out of control – we couldn’t stop. So the three of us just hung out there in the nursery for awhile, pooping and puking and laughing uncontrollably.
(Of course it wasn’t so funny afterwards when it was ME who had to clean up all the puke and poop because John, with his weak stomach, couldn’t possibly help.)
In retrospect, maybe the funniest part of this story is that it’s actually a fond memory.
Posted by zoom! on February 2, 2008, at 6:35 pm |
While we’re waiting for BabyZRX to arrive, maybe we should share some useful parenting tips with AndrewZRX and SharonZRX. Now’s as good a time as any for them to start getting used to unsolicited parenting advice.
For starters, Andrew and Sharon, you should put a hat on that baby.
This was the single most frequent piece of advice I was given by complete strangers when my son was a baby, and I’m happy to share it with you. I don’t care if there’s a heat wave and people are melting into steaming sticky puddles all over the streets, you should have a hat on that baby. Even if your pediatrician peels 13 layers of clothing off your baby in order to diagnose his prickly heat rash and then submerses him in a vat of cool water to prevent him from spontaneously combusting, you should put a hat on that baby.
And strangers always say it that way too: You should put a hat on THAT baby. In case you’re just confused and have been putting all your hats on some other baby.
So what’s your favourite piece of unsolicited parenting advice?
Click here for more baby instructions.
Posted by zoom! on February 1, 2008, at 4:27 pm |
We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging and a severe winter storm to bring you this breaking news:
Just received, from AndrewZRX* in Scotland, an email saying simply:
“Waters just broke!”
 Updates will be provided right here on knitnut.net as communications permit. But folks, at this point it looks like we’re having us a Groundhog Day baby!
UPDATE: 7:15 PM
Another email from AndrewZRX:
“We just got back from the midwives and they say maybe not the waters after all. They saying maybe she just peed herself! I think not. In any case there’ s not much to do now but wait. There’s been no contractions or anything, so we’re both a little disappointed.”
Don’t be disappointed AndrewZRX – this is all part of the birth experience: going past your due date; being looked upon skeptically by medical personnel who think you’ve peed yourself and don’t even know it; being sent home babyless to twiddle your thumbs and wait for something more definitive to happen. It’s a time-honoured initiation rite.
(I still think he might make an appearance on Groundhog Day.)
Let’s have an informal virtual pool. I say it’s a boy, arriving February 2 at 8:47 PM, and he’ll weigh 9 pounds, 4 ounces.
(Everybody’s predictions are welcome in the comments!)
UPDATE! UPDATE! 7:15 AM GROUNDHOG DAY
Another email from AndrewZRX:
“We just went for the membrane sweep and came away with a Bishop’s score of 8. I’d say that’s pretty good! (I have no idea what it means, but the best possible score is 10, so I’d say we’re doing alright). 1 cm dilated. Cervix facing front like it should be. Baby’s head well-engaged. If nothing happens in 48 hours we go back for another sweep, and presumably another Bishop’s score.”
Membrane sweep? Bishops score? I’ve never heard of these…maybe these are Scottish obstetrical innovations that haven’t swept North America yet?
*For those of you who are new here, a little history: Several months ago, I won a guest blogging opportunity over on the Elgin Street Irregulars’ blog. Paralyzed by stage fright, I finally auctioned off my prize on Ebay for $22.50 US.
The successful bidder was AndrewZRX, a Canadian ex-patriot who sailed solo across the Atlantic Ocean to marry his Scottish girlfriend. Here is his guest post on the ESI blog.
Posted by zoom! on January 31, 2008, at 7:44 pm |
I know some of you think I’m turning into a cat blogger, so I promise you this will be the last cat post this month. I swear. The cat is just a small part of my perfectly normal life, which is full of work and art and blogging and scrabble and knitting and chores and walking and running and friends and Internet and errands and sleep.
I used to have a little bit of regular reading time built into my life, and that was at bedtime. Not anymore. The reading came to an abrupt end with Duncan’s arrival four weeks ago.
 Duncan has taken over bedtime. He loves bedtime with all his great big furry purry heart. He starts lobbying for bedtime around 9:30 every evening, and he does not stop until I go to bed. This is okay, because I seem to have been infected by Duncan’s love of bedtime. With his help, I have totally conquered insomnia.
Remember I told you that he sleeps with his head on my pillow and one paw in my hand and the other paw on my cheek? Not anymore. Now he sleeps in the curl of my arm, with his head on my chest. Last night he slept in the curl of my arm with his cheek on my cheek. I haven’t the heart to read in bed anymore. Besides, Duncan is adamant that I do my reading on my own time.
Meanwhile, there is an inviting little stack of books on my bedside table that I had been slowly making a dent in, but no longer am. There’s an intriguing Australian book called Praise, sent to me by nursemyra of the Gimcrack Hospital. There’s my friend Donna’s sister’s first novel, Paper Trail, which I’m looking forward to burrowing into. There’s a book of bite-sized short stories called The Girl Who Married a Lion, which Robin sent me. And there’s Sweater 101, a gift from its author, Cheryl Brunette, which is brimming with useful sweater-knitting information.
I’m trying to re-arrange my life so I can read again. For starters, I just popped Praise into my knapsack yesterday, for reading in lineups and waiting rooms and on the bus. I’m on Chapter 7 already and I’m enjoying it. But I have to say it feels a little weird reading those raunchy heroin sex scenes in public, especially when some of my fellow travelers on the #14 seem to be leaning in and reading along. Am I just imagining that?
I wonder if they wonder why I’m reading porn on the bus, and what they would think if they knew it was because my cat doesn’t allow me to read it at home.
I also wonder if it’s okay to turn the page yet, or if they need another minute to catch up. (I always give them the extra minute, don’t you?)
Posted by Zoom! on January 30, 2008, at 5:43 pm |
I pass the Mayor Larry Swap Box on Lisgar Street on my way to and from work, and sometimes at lunchtime too, so I have an ongoing relationship with it. Sometimes I make a swap, other times I just leave something or take something. Sometimes all I do is peek inside.
For about a week now I’ve been leaving a homemade Artist’s Trading Card (ATC) in the box each morning. I write “Zoom” and “www.knitnut.net” on the back, slip it into a plastic sleeve, and leave it in the swap box.
Sometimes it takes all day, but eventually someone takes my ATC. (It probably doesn’t hurt that this particular swap box is right outside Wallack’s art supply store.)
Yesterday the finder of one of those ATCs left a comment on the blog! She’s a student at the Ottawa School of Art, who just happens to love street art and who has an ongoing public art experiment of her own. Not only that, but she said she would return to the Swap Box later in the day to leave two of her original wood block reduction art prints, since she felt horribly sad at having nothing to swap when she took the ATC.
I rushed back to the Swap Box at lunch time, and sure enough, there they were! They didn’t fit inside the box, so the artist had rolled them up and taped them to the outside of the box. I took one. (I wanted both, but I didn’t want to be greedy.)
The second print was gone when I passed by after work, and in its place was an orange lei. Don’t you think the Swap Box looks especially festive with its orange lei dancing in the wind?
Meanwhile, I got a second email from the artist saying she is now considering making smaller pieces especially for the swap boxes! (You can see some examples of her prints and processes on facebook, under the profile name ‘bussita terra.’)
 Here’s a picture of the wood block print on my cubicle wall, along with an old photo of ragamuffins, which I rescued from the trash a few years ago. I felt a little surge of happiness every time I glanced at that wall today.
The Mayor Larry Swap Box was erected on November 19th (World Toilet Day, coincidentally), and in two and a half months it has evolved a history and a following of regulars who leave art and condoms and nickels and bus tickets and assorted odds and ends.
I love that art is now being swapped in the Swap Box. I LOVE it.
Tags:
Posted by zoom! on January 29, 2008, at 5:22 pm |
Remember how Duncan likes to lie on the edge of the tub and watch me bathe? Well, the last couple of baths, he’s been dangling one paw in the water the whole time. And every now and then he dips his head down and laps up a whole bunch of steaming hot bath water like it’s chamomile tea.
Duncan is the thirstiest cat I’ve ever known. He can drink for three minutes without stopping. He interrupts a fresh bowl of wet cat food to drink out of the fresh bowl of water as soon as it hits the floor. He licks the bathtub after I’m done with it.
I hope he’s not diabetic. I can’t even bring myself to clip his nails, let alone jab him with a needle every day.
By the way, you can still vote in the Canadian Blog Awards until Wednesday at 11:59 pm.
Knitnut.net is a finalist in two categories:
1) Best Blog Post (The Real Reason I Support the Crack Kit Program)
2) Best Activities Blog
|
|
Popular Posts