You know, if you were to scan the covers of women’s magazines, you’d think the only things we care about are our weight, celebrities, celebrities’ weight and decorating. And if you were to scan my inbox, you’d think the only thing men care about is the size of their penis.
Say you were in the market for a penis enlargement product (and I’m not saying you are) (and even if you are, that’s okay too), which of these subject lines would most appeal to you?
This is just a small sampling from my inbox over the last few days. (Click to enlarge – no pun intended.)
Geez have you ever heard of a spam filter?
I like “Keep her entertained and swinging off your manhood.”
I didn’t know you could actually swing off someone’s manhood. That sounds painful.
But Kat, this post wouldn’t be nearly as interesting if I had a filter. 😉
Andrea, that’s one of my favourites too. It conjures up some interesting imagery (and injury).
If I had to guess, I’d blame it on your mentioning “21-inch penis” multiple times and having your unedited e-mail address linked on all blog pages 😉
Hmm, that would be an excellent explanation James, were it not for the fact that all those emails are from my work email address. (The real explanation is that it’s a very old email address which, over the years, has been widely harvested by spammers.)
Which subject line is your favourite?
Ahh. I get lotsa penis spam too but the titles are much less amusing in order for them to get past the spam filters… the witty one-liners are saved for the message body. I get lotsa penny stock spam too – it’s almost tempting to buy a bunch and try to sell them off before the spammer sells theirs.
If I had to choose, it’d probably be “Now you can fill her vagina with meat like you fill her heart with love.” Not quite Hallmark material, but almost.
Your penis is big? Even when everything sucks you(r) penis is sucked.
For people for whom everything sucks- HOPE!
I like spacious erectile organ. it kind of ties in with your decorating theory too
I kinda like she’ll be wet if she knows you’re packing a big sausage.
And the remarkablest thing is that somebody somewhere must be clicking those or else the spam wouldn’t happen.
like the sky without birds ones myself.
Eiffel Tower – LOL!
My all-time favourite isn’t text spam, it’s an image that I received and found so funny that I had to post it to my site.
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/images/enlarge.jpg
See if you can spot the boo-boo…
Macro-Gilles
It’s funny that you mention this. I was just thinking the same thing about my inbox. :S
None of them appeal to me anymore. I think I’ve just become so sick of spam (we have multiple e-mail addresses that go through a lot of filtering).
I think it’s actually a way to get men to care less about size. They send out much spam that any guy who desiring a size increase would decide against it because it was spam related.
I think Facebook is doing it as some weird psychological experiment.
Cheers.
I especially like the ones that appear to be translated third world attempts at being romantic.
If you like spammy subject lines (and who doesn’t) take a look at Spamusement aka “Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines”
Really. Some of them are hilarious. You can even submit your subject lines on the forum and people will make cartoons. enjoy
Zoom that’s my point. Your writings are so interesting and down to earth that bending to this crap is so unlike what I read from you! Maybe I am just begging for equal time in your inbasket with an article of ‘breast enhancements’!
Red Jenny, thanks for the link (I’ll check it out in more detail later, but at first glance it looks like fun), and welcome to my blog. It’s good to have you here.
Kat, thanks for the compliments about the blog in general, and I’m sorry you didn’t like this particular post. I guess I’m in different places on different days, and on this particular day, penis spam was what amused me. I can’t even promise it won’t happen again.
(Oh, and about the breast enhancement challenge – I find it fascinating that there’s so little breast spam. I’ve racked my brain (no pun intended) to come up with an explanation for this phenomenon, but I’m still mystified.)
Ah so not fair Zoom! It’s not that I didn’t like that post, it’s just that I can get this stuff off of The View, or Tyra Banks etc., whereas I can’t get enough of your other ‘stuff’ that I find enjoyable and down to earth any other place but here!
Aww, what a nice thing to say Kat. That’s the nicest criticism I’ve ever received. Thank you.