One day I was walking up Somerset Street, on my way to work, just like every other day. As I approached the intersection at Percy & Somerset, I noticed someone walking towards me. I thought it was Bob Purcell. I hadn’t seen or even thought about Bob for years. He was hunched over and shuffling towards me. As we drew closer, I realized it wasn’t Bob after all. We passed each other directly across the street from the Kelly Funeral Home.
The Kelly Funeral Home, incidentally, is where I’ve always imagined I will go when I die. I think of it as “my” funeral home. I’ve walked past it every day for years and years. I’ve been to many wakes there. I’ve always liked the way the people who work there shovel the sidewalk in the morning, instead of waiting for the little sidewalk plow to do it. I used to (okay this is a bit embarassing) use the Kelly Funeral Home for a practical joke which involved giving someone a message that Myra Maines had called for them, along with the phone number. They’d call the number, and it would be the Kelly Funeral Home. My victim would say “Could I speak with Myra Maines please?” Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha! The staff at the Kelly Funeral Home were very good sports about it. So that’s where I want to go when I die. (You’re all invited.)
Anyway, there I go, digressing again. So I thought I saw Bob Purcell outside the Kelly Funeral Home, but it wasn’t him after all. Bob was a hardcore derelict with almost-a-PhD in economics who had come to Canada during the Vietnam war. I wondered, briefly, how he was doing these days, and then I forgot all about him again.
That night, when I got home from work, I cracked open the Ottawa Citizen and read all my favourite bits – local news, letters to the editor, astrology, Dear Abby, comics, obituaries….
Guess whose obituary was in the paper? Guess where the body was resting?
Bob Purcell’s? Noooooo…! If you actually did find his obituary it’s a bit of a strange coincidence! It’s kind of spooky too, isn’t it? It’s almost like you met his shadow outside or something
I love the practical joke…LOL, very funny!
No way!!!!!
I think this means you have to do the Myra Maines joke on someone this week.
Dakota, you must be psychic!
You are such an idiot for joking with a Funeral Home staff… some of my friends are working in a Funeral Home… you are a disgrace for the society and have no respect whatsoever. Shame on you.
Hope you rot in hell
Wow. This John is showing a lot of anger and hatred.
For my society, I think I choose the harmless Myra Maines joke over calling people names and hoping they rot in Hell.
[…] The last time I wrote about the Kelly Funeral Home was in September 2006. Just a couple of days ago I received my first nasty comment on this blog, and it was with reference to that post. I guess I just don’t normally spark much controversy or push anybody’s buttons. But it seems I’ve finally inspired someone to say he hoped I would rot in hell. Apparently John doesn’t take kindly to people disrespecting funeral home staff, and he sees humour as disrespectful. […]
oh my…. he’s a very angry man isn’t he? hospitals like the gimcrack are the last places many people live before ending up in a funeral home. all our staff have very black senses of humour. it’s a prerequisite for the job.
it doesn’t mean we treat our patients with disrespect, but we make light of situations that are distressing and sad as it’s a way of coping – for them and for us
I think your joke call was pretty funny. “John” should rethink his “rot in hell” line, it’s not respectful at all
Someone needs to give that John a hug. Think he’s had a terrible day.