I follow Kijiji and UsedOttawa.com very closely when it comes to Birds for Sale. If a bird is listed on either of those sites, odds are I’ll know about it within a few hours.
Speaking of odd, I’ve noticed that bird folk can be a bit odd. I say this with the greatest respect and fondness for their oddness. From what I’ve seen, they are mostly tender-hearted and gentle-souled people with maybe a personality quirk or two. For example, maybe they like to make videos of themselves playing with stuffed birds and cats. Maybe they can tell when their bird is about to poop, and they hold their hand out so it can poop in their palm instead of on the floor. Maybe they live with 72 parrots and they haven’t left the house since the early 90s. Maybe they’re a bit flighty. You see what I mean? Harmless little endearing quirks like that.
So I was kind of blown away last night when I saw this ad on Kijiji. This guy’s not your typical bird person. He’s odd alright, but he’s not endearing.
Hi,
Unfortunately my brother has decided to move in with me and I can no longer keep my pet parrot JC due to his allergies. He is a great looking parrot that is just a joy to be around. I adopted him about 3 years ago and he has been close to my heart ever since. He knows a lot of cool phrases and can be taught to say almost anything, but nothing dirty since he is a good Christian bird. He is a regular at my church and he loves prayer time.
Price is not the biggest concern to me. I am open to offers of all price ranges and trades. My main concern is that he ends up in a good, heterosexual environment.
Please call with offers!
The picture with JC on my shoulder is one of my favorite, I’m going to miss him.
…
(His parrot, incidentally, is a macaw. They’re gorgeous and huge and expensive and demanding. Most people cannot handle them, and they should never be purchased by people without significant parrot experience under their belt. Or gay people!)
I know some good intolerant Baptists who’d love this parrot, they’d teach it to say “Evolution is a myth” and “the Rapture is coming!” “You need to be saved” “That’s witchcraft!”and follow every phrase up with a well screeched “YOU’RE GOING TO GO TO HELL!”
WACKO? And what do you supposed the JC stands for?
But wouldn’t it be fun to take his parrot and corrupt it?
Get some Tim Horton’s and put some mustard on that parrot and I know a Good and Respectful Christian who would be perfect for that parrot. Pity the election is already over.
– RG>
HAHAHAHAAA! Although when I think about it, I can’t really fault him. If I had to rehome my beloved pet, I wouldn’t want my lesbian dog to end up with straight Christians. She would only disappoint them.
This is hilarious. Especially the lesbian dog comment. And your title is perfect.
So…are you going to add a macaw to your family?
Mudmama, that might actually be fun having a parrot that said we were all going to hell. 😉
Laurie, that’s what I was thinking. I don’t imagine JC stands for Jean-Charles.
Grouchy, ha ha. (But it’s not the parrot’s fault, and maybe there’s still hope he can be salvaged.)
Roro, ha ha ha!
Julia, such a wacky world. I should point out that the ad disappeared within hours of being posted. I’m glad I saved it for posterity.
Laura, ha, no! A macaw is way too much bird for me!