I’m listening to an NPR health podcast, and it just mentioned that some lots of Similac baby formula have been recalled because of insects and larvae found in it.
This reminded me of when my son was in the fourth grade at Connaught Public School. He also attended the school’s After-Four program every day.
One evening we were eating dinner and I asked him what he’d learned that day.
“I learned,” he said, “that bugs are 100% pure protein!”
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “How’d you learn that?”
“Well,” he said, “In After-Four we were going to make some muffins but the flour was full of bugs. We were going to throw it out, but then we wouldn’t have had any muffins, and then Mark said bugs are 100% pure protein so we made the muffins anyway.” (Mark was the After Four program’s staffer.)
“Really?” I asked.
“Yup,” he said.
“Did you eat the muffins?”
“Yup.”
“Were they good?”
“Yup, delicious.”
The next day I called the school and spoke with the principal.
“Did you know,” I asked her, “that bugs are 100% pure protein?”
“Excuse me?” she asked.
I told her the story as James had told it to me, and she chuckled in response.
“I’ll check into it,” she assured me, “But I’m positive it didn’t happen. I’m sure there’s been some kind of misunderstanding.”
About an hour later she called me back and she was noticeably upset.
“I checked into it and it’s true. I cannot believe any staff member here would show such poor judgment. Mark said he checked with the Home Ec teacher and she said they were weevils and the kids wouldn’t get sick if they ate them. Mark tried to justify his actions by saying we just have a cultural bias against eating insects in North America. I told him we follow the standards of our own culture here. Frankly, I’m mortified.”
She was way more mortified than me. I was actually pretty easy-going about the whole thing. I just would prefer that my kid not eat infested food.
She continued.
“We haven’t had any reports of any of the After Four children falling ill, but I don’t know if I need to notify their parents as to what took place yesterday. I don’t think there are any health issues. Let me assure you that I am taking this very seriously and it will never happen again. I’m firing Mark.”
I certainly didn’t want to see heads roll over it, especially not Mark’s. He was a nice young man and the kids adored him. My son would never forgive me.
“You can’t fire Mark!” I protested.
“I have no choice,” she said. “I cannot trust his judgment.”
“If you fire Mark,” I pointed out, “You’ll have to fire the Home Ec teacher too. Mark showed good judgment by asking her before using the flour.”
She didn’t want to fire the Home Ec teacher. I didn’t want her to fire Mark. In the end it was decided that nobody would get fired. It was a close call, though, for Mark.
I wonder if anybody over at the Similac baby formula company is going to get fired.
What a great story! Although I am surprised the muffins tasted good – I accidently ate some infested crackers once and they did NOT taste good, which is what alerted me to the fact that something was amiss.
I agree–that was a great story! I’m so glad you talked the principal out of firing Mark.
Our culture is pretty funny about eating bugs. We eat all kinds of chemicals that probably really do make us sick, but it’s the *thought* of eating bugs that turns our stomachs. While I realize this, I still don’t want to knowingly eat bugs. Or bug residue. And yet I know that it is quite common for a certain quantity of bugs to be in processed food, or organic produce, for that matter.
I’m more concerned about the chemicals in he formula.
I’m so glad you can think on your feet! I’d have been a babbling mess or silent in horror when she said she was going to fire Mark! I’d need time to get my head around my arguments about why it was wrong to fire him!
I once found weevils in my flour – and was totally confused, because I didn’t know you could get weevils on land – I always associated them with pirate ships – blame it on too many history books. Of course until I started reading history books, I always though weevils were some kind of ferret-like creature.
By the way – as you’re always taking about writing a book – I think you should write one about your life – even if it’s a collection of short stories just like this one – they are absolutely fascinating.
Super story! Good common sense!
Back when I lived in Mogadishu, weevils were common in the breads and roll, after the first few weeks, you just ignored them.
That is really funny and I’m glad that you ended up saving Mark’s job. Well handled by you and the principal.
I love this! Kids are so open-minded, it’s us who have all the hang-ups.
The first time I found weevils in the flour, I freaked out and took it back to the store. They took it in stride and gave me a new sack of flour. Apparently they’re used to it (I was not).
It is the idea of it that skeeves me. I am truly a girly girl where bugs are concerned.
I wouldn’t want Mark fired but I would want him to have some kind or refresher course on food safety and I hope someone talked to that Home Ec teacher. Cultural bias or not, the idea of making muffins with bug infested flour is ugly.
Bugs or raisins – who can tell the difference??
When I was a kid, we used to find weevils in our flour from time to time. My mom hated them and would try to sift them out but inevitably end up having to throw out the flour. My siblings and I would collect them and keep them as “pets” in a small tin with a tightly closing lid, like a shoe polish tin. We would let them out occasionally for walks. Remarkably they would stay alive for weeks in spite of having no food in the tin and presumably very little oxygen.
Omg weevils. We have to wage war against them about once a year in our pantry. I hate those little muthus.
When I lived in Sudan, flour was often infested. We would put the flour in the sun, and most of the bugs would crawl away. Any that were left, just got eaten. Just don’t eat raw cookie dough…