I think I’ve mentioned before that I have a morbid fear of public speaking. I’m not even talking about public speaking like speaking into a microphone to hundreds of people from a podium on a stage. I’m talking about something as simple as the dreaded “let’s go round the table and introduce ourselves” at a meeting.
I wasn’t always this way. As a kid in elementary school I used to enter public speaking contests because I loved writing speeches. I didn’t love delivering the speeches, but it was a small price to pay for the pleasure of writing them.
Once I hit high school I became painfully shy and tongue-tied whenever people looked at me, which quickly put an end to my public speaking career. My shyness peaked in adolescence, and I’ve gradually become more comfortable in social situations over the years. But the public speaking phobia persists.
A couple of nights ago I went to a community meeting because Bill 106 was on the agenda. That’s the Safer Communities and Neighbourhoods (SCAN) bill which would erode our civil rights under the guise of making us safer from one another. I blogged about it last week. Yasir Naqvi, the MPP who authored the Bill, was at this meeting to promote it.
I was hoping somebody more eloquent than myself would say everything I was thinking, and then I could just applaud and nod when they spoke. But no-one was speaking out against the Bill, so I had to do it myself.
And I did! I spoke in public!
Okay, so it wasn’t a big crowd – only 13 people counting me. But still.
The next day XUP and I were exchanging email about it.
I said “It went well, but I quickly realized we were at an impasse and there was zero chance of either of us changing the other’s mind. In a group setting, when you don’t want to monopolize the discussion, how do you graciously exit the discussion in an ‘agreeing to disagree’ sort of way?”
XUP replied: “I find the best thing to do is to just freak out and start yelling about what a bonehead he is because he can’t see reality and that he’s a stupid, ignorant asshole who obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about. That usually ends the conversation – especially if you storm out afterwards.”
I think I’m going to hire XUP to be my public speaking coach.
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Congrats on public speaking. I find it really hard to do it too, especially in french. Actually, I think public speaking for you is equivalent for me being asked to writing an article.
You’re not really serious about mentioning me in every post for the rest of the month, are you? Because I’m already sick of reading about myself
Thanks J.
Yup XUP. Every day for the rest of the month.
While XUP’s solution would be fun to watch, you can be more passive-aggressive by sighing heavily and rolling your eyes and shaking your head in disgust while glaring at the offending party. The lawyer for the defense in a trial where I was on the jury did this after we announced a guilty verdict, and it shook me up. Were we *wrong*?!?
While I have no problem at all with you annoying XUP for the rest of the month, I really don’t think that you need to omit GC. It’s rather lovely to read you having different adventures. Besides, Duncan is learning to accept GC (isn’t he?) Maybe XUP needs to, too!
I understand the terminal-shyness thing. I’ve suffered from it all my life.
The way I’ve finally dealt with it is to pretend I’m not shy. Don’t ask me how, or why it works (it shouldn’t, I know), but I’m rolling with it.
And you could mention GC and XUP every day if you want. We don’t mind. 8)
I’m an introvert, I like people but they exhaust me very much. I’m an observer, a listener and likely appear quiet and shy sometimes. But public speaking . . . no problem. I’d thrive giving a lecture to a thousand people; just don’t expect me to do it in front of a dozen.
I say more XUP, more GC, more Duncan. Oh what the heck, more cowbell.
Abby, that’s interesting. Were you wrong?? (of course that tactic wouldn’t have done the lawyer any good after the fact…)
Mikatana, you make an excellent point. I can talk about everybody on my blog. (And good idea, blogging about Duncan’s acceptance of GC.)
Gayle, I’ve heard that people can cheer themselves up (assuming they’re not clinically depressed, of course) by pretending to be in a good mood. So maybe it works for shyness too. I’ll give it a shot.
Grace, how interesting. I’m just like you in all those respects except public speaking. I wonder why it’s so easy for you and so hard for me?