It was a year ago today that I stopped smoking. I haven’t had a single cigarette since then. Not even a drag. Not even a deep inhalation as I pass through the cloud of smoke outside the L’Esplanade. Not even a bit of tobacco rolled together with something else. Nothing.
I’ve quit smoking more often than anybody I know, but this is a record.
I stopped for 15 months a few years ago, but I did indulge in the occasional smoke during that time. It started with a smoke with my niece Lindsay on a balcony in Florida on the six-month anniversary of quitting.
Following that, I’d just have a smoke if I was at Irene’s Pub and really really felt like it.
Then I started smoking at Stuart’s Thursday Night Barbecues. I would leave the pack at Stuart’s at the end of the evening, in the drawer of a dresser on his front porch.
For a few month I smoked only on Thursdays. But then I started having cravings occasionally on Fridays, so I would wander over to Stuart’s house and retrieve a smoke from the dresser drawer and smoke it on his porch. I told myself it was the stress of the impending move, so it was okay.
I moved. Stuart’s house was further away. I told myself it was okay to buy a pack and keep them at home. I’d only smoke them occasionally. As required. On Thursdays and Fridays.
You know how it goes.
I was a full-fledged smoker again for nine months.
On July 24, 2007, I quit. Cold turkey, as usual. After reading Allan Carr’s book, as usual.
I don’t know if I’m going to stay a non-smoker for the rest of my life. I hope so, but if history is any predictor, probably not.
It never ceases to amaze me that I can quit and get past it and into a place where I’m genuinely happy to be free of cigarettes and where I can’t imagine ever taking up smoking again…and then, inexplicably, I take up smoking again. It’s like the addiction lies dormant, waiting to be triggered, waiting for an opportunity to ambush me.
I’m more vigilant now. I refuse to believe I’ve got it beat. So while I’m celebrating the one-year milestone today, I don’t feel triumphant or complacent. I love owning my own lungs. I love that I’ve shaved seven years off my mortgage. I especially love that I’m free of all the burdens of smoking.
But I know the predatory bastard is lurking in the shadows, waiting for me to lapse into fond memories of our illusory old friendship, and I know he’ll seize that moment.
In the meantime, though, do I ever like being a non-smoker.
Congratulations, Zoom! I’ve never smoked but I have someone near and dear to me who has struggled with quitting and restarting. I’ve watched lots of people try to quit and I can see how difficult it is. And heaven knows, I struggle with my own addiction to food. So enjoy your success! Yay!
I stopped smoking exactly 25 years ago. Everyone in my family (I mean same generation as mine or older, but not my spouse or my children) smokes (and they are very proud of it and very defensive about it). And every single one of them either has cancer or has already died of cancer. That’s my main motivation for not starting again, as much as I still get cravings, 25 years later.
Congrats Zoom! Happy 1 year non-smoking. I quit when I was 21, because I realized that working an hour at Loblaws didn’t equal a pack of smokes. I have found it hard in the past, then everyone I knew smoked, I was the only one supporting my own habit.
Keep up the good work. I find that going to the gym helps motivate me not to smoke again. I hope you find something that motivates you to continue.
All the best.
I’ll be your sponsor if you want. I quit some 21+ years ago & while the thought of smoking or even being near smokers makes me physically ill, I still always have dreams where I smoke and they make me really sad. So, if you ever feel like you’re falling off the wagon call me on your echo phone & I’ll talk you down.
Good for you. A birthday for both of us in some ways…
I see my brother struggle with smoking and quitting and being happy after quitting then taking it up again…I know how hard it is. I hope you don’t go back, just like I hope he doesn’t…
Good for you!
I quite smoking for nearly two years before I had a drag off someone else’s smoke while drunk. When I didn’t have cravings the next day, I thought great now I can have occasional smokes. Within six months I was smoking again. Quit again. Started again. Finally quit again more than three years ago. I still have nostalgia for a smoke on a warm day with a cold beer but I’ve learned that I can never do that unless I want the addiction back. And I don’t miss the nic fits and coughing!
All that makes me realize that when people say “Well I’m not physically addicted,” it really doesn’t matter. Physical addictions are WAY easier to kick than the psychological component.
I know that nagging urge that allows you to convince yourself that one smoke won’t make a difference. It lies! One smoke makes a huge difference!!
My dad quit cold turkey when I was two, because I put his cigarette in my mouth and said “Daddy, look!” He had been smoking since he was thirteen. You can do it. Vigilance!
Congratulations. My father quit a couple of years ago just after his first grand child was born. He had been smoking for 30 years. He still tells me he has days where he’d kill someone for the nicotine under their fingernails, and I’m not allowed to smoke cigars around him (I don’t smoke but I like the occastional wine flavoured colt) but he’s still doing it… and if he can do it… I think anybody can!
You go! Keep it up!
After smoking for 50, yes 50, years, my Uncle gave up smoking 15 years ago. And I am so glad because it has meant more time with him.
Congrats on 1 year. That’s huge. I quit 5 years ago and will never become complacent about it. Like you, I had had some long quits in the past that ended because of “just one”. Not this time. The greatest thing about having quit is that I no longer have to quit. I have learned 2 great truths for my life. 1) One puff leads to full-time smoking. 2) I will never be happy as a smoker. Now that I finally truly know those two things, and knowing that I never have to quit again, because, face it, quitting sucks, the choice is easy.
It’s been 15 years for me. For the first 5, I would get occasional cravings, but not since then. I recently visited my brother (his wife smokes) and was mildly sick the whole time I was in his house. At this point, I’m SURE I will never take it up again. Keep at it and don’t give in, you will be so glad you didn’t when you are older and your health is better because you didn’t smoke.
Congrats Zoom! Happy ONE YEAR!
Peter quit after about 15 years of 2 or 3 packs a day. He never could understand these people who smoked only a few cigarettes here and there. He was dedicated! But when he quit for the last time, cold turkey, about 15 years ago, he never wanted another after the worst/first 3 weeks. Now, he hates the smell of cigarettes and can’t stand the thought of smoking. Did I mention he’s a bit of an extremist? Use the offers of “sponsors” here to help you stay on the one true path. Whatever we can do to help too. But I think it’s good that you are enjoying being a non-smoker – that’s a big positive.
My last cheat was in 1986. My father smoked two packs a day and grandfather, three. Combine that with leaky woodstoves and my first cigarette was, literally, the air I was used to breathing. Can’t imagine putting one in my mouth now but it took years to get there. Good for you Zoom. Consider me another volunteer sponsor.
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Thank you for the offers, but I don’t really need sponsors since 99.99% of the time I have absolutely no desire to smoke, and that other .01% of the time, well, either I’ll resist the impulse or I won’t (but I’m not going to have time to blog about it first).
XUP – oh yes, the smoking dreams. I have them often. I feel so happy when I realize it was only a dream.
Congratulations to all of you who have quit. I hope someday I’ll have quit for as long as you.