I was out scrounging the thrift shops a couple days ago, looking for long-lost Group of Seven paintings or, failing that, just something interesting to hang on the wall. I did find an oil painting at Value Village that I might have paid $10 for, but they wanted $29.99. That seemed like a lot, considering it’s Value Village and all. (But apparently I’m not the only one who has noticed the recent price jacking at Value Village.)
While I was in St. Vincent de Paul’s (which, by the way, didn’t have any paintings), I perused the books and ended up buying one called Are You Normal? It’s got all these human interest statistics in it. It’s not rigorous scientific research or anything – it’s mostly based on self-reported behaviour, which you have to take with a grain of salt – but it’s still kind of interesting.
For example: Do you peek in your host’s bathroom cabinet? Apparently 39% of people say they can’t resist, and of those 39%, 77% are disappointed because there’s nothing very interesting in there. (However, 23% claim their snooping was rewarded with the discovery of things like dead rodents, toupees, glass eyes and guns.)
Equally interesting is that 38% of hosts actually go to the trouble of moving personal items from their bathroom cabinets when they’re expecting guests.
(I strongly suspect that the hosts who hide things are also the guests who snoop.)
Here are some more:
7% of people have flossed their teeth with their hair.
48% of dog-owners let their dogs sleep on the bed.
45% of pet-owners don’t mind if their pets watch them having sex.
29% of us have deliberately shoplifted something from a store.
3% of us change our bedsheets every day.
We swear, on average, 16 times a day.
1 of every 7 Americans carries a knife or gun. (That doesn’t count the weapons they keep under their pillows.)
5% of Americans rate themselves as beautiful or handsome.
One out of five women would like to have a penis of her own.
Value Village is not what it used to be in terms of price. I noticed two or more years ago the doubling of their book prices, which I thought was highway robbery.
PS: I am not normal.
You change your bedsheets every day?!? Yeah, Value Village is getting WAY too expensive.
NO, NOT ME! I’m part of the (normal) 97% of us who do NOT change our bedsheets every day. (I just recently found out there are people who wash their towels after every use too. Weird.)
Flossed with their HAIR??? Yuck, ick, nasty. That one gave me the heebies AND the jeebies!
If you’re looking for great art at no cost… actually there’s a cost, but the annual May Show is going on in my village this weekend. It’s an arts, music and craft fair that’s been going on for almost thirty years. The original May Show was started by a group of thirteen local artists, some of whom have gone on to some renown. It’s almost always a good time and there are four art galleries showing work by (very talented) locals… and our local brewery, Beau’s All Natural Brewery, is having a festival as well. All four galleries are open until 5pm, from Friday until Monday.
If you’re interested Zoom!, just head east for 60km until you see the Vankleek Hill exit then follow the signs. Saturday is generally the best day, but Sunday totally kicks ass as well.
The only hair I’ve had between my teeth were too short to floss with; when I was a kid I used to shoplift regularly — comics, Jos Louis, Coca Cola, camera lenses; I sometimes swear more than 16 times in a single conversation, and; I haven’t had a sheet on my bed in almost a week… I was going to make a joke about how all married women have a penis of their own, but I decided it was beneath me.
I don’t think my hair is strong enough for flossing. but I sure would like a penis of my own
I think you’re going to find some fabulous art at the great Glebe garage sale on the 24th. And, no, I wouldn’t like to have a penis. They seem so vulnerable just hanging there waiting to get kicked and bumped and jabbed. I’m not the most graceful person in the world, so I think I’d be in constant pain with yet another appendage to coordinate.
I’m with XUP … I have a dislocated finger that gets in the way … and that’s bad enough. The only time I have, as an adult, thought it might be useful, was when I needed to pee unobtrusively and quickly while wearing jeans.
No desire for a penis (I’m bothered enough by my breasts…well not the breast so much as the nipples they manage to get caught in things!)
I am one of those weirdos that wash towels all the time, I make up for it by not washing the sheets often enough.
I’m a medicine chest peeker – I’m not hoping for rodents…I just like to keep up on over the counter meds cause I don’t buy them very often. Did you know they now sell painkillers with CAFFEINE added. Found that out from a medivine chest! I don’t have a chest – people really score in my vathroom they get a whole closet full of herbs and stuff floating in bottles.
I have two penises. One I keep in my husband’s pants, the other, in my night table.
Tiana – ha ha ha ha ha!
Gabriel, I’d love to go to Vankleek Hill on the weekend and check out the arts fair/festival, but 60k is a long way on foot!
XUP – I think you’re right about the GGGS. I will go with an art mission.
Mudmama, haven’t they always put caffeine in OTC painkillers? And why do you wash the towels so much? If they’re only used to dry clean wet bodies, they should just be damp, not dirty.
Everybody’s weighing in on the penis stat, eh? I think there are still too many unknowns to be able to answer that question. Like, where would it be located? Would it replace its female counterparts? Would it be detachable? Would my salary go up?
Zoom – Would your IQ go down? How would it affect your sex life? When someone tells you to go F*** yourself, would you be able to?
And, Oma, for peeing outdoors they now have Freshette, the Feminine Urinary Director (http://www.freshette.com/).
Yes Oma, there are cardboard alternatives if you just care about going, not coming.
As a matter of fact, I happen to be the unofficial Bluesfest Porta-Potty and P-mate blogger.
I don’t know how but in the first draft of my comment I knew you didn’t have a car… for some reason in the second draft I saw you with one. I kind of liked the first draft better, I have to start saving these things. I’ll take some photos and let you know how it goes.