Yesterday was the day I officially became a homeowner. I met with the lawyer first thing in the morning to sign a whole bunch of documents in triplicate and give him the great big crazy cheque. Then he shook my hand and said “Congratulations.”
“Am I a homeowner now?” I asked dubiously.
“No,” he said, “When I give you the keys this afternoon you’ll be a homeowner.”
“Good,” I said, “Because I don’t feel any different yet.”
The day went by. I worked. I had my annual checkup. I walked to the Rideau Centre at lunchtime to buy a Magic 8-Ball. I walked back in the rain. The panhandler who sits at the top of the stairs above the park offered me a free umbrella. (I seem to attract a lot of offers of free umbrellas.) I went back to work. I asked the Magic 8-Ball if buying the house was a mistake. “Without a doubt,” said the Magic 8-Ball.
The phone rang: the keys were ready. I walked to the lawyer’s office in the rain, got my envelope of keys, shoved them in my pocket and walked back to my office chanting to myself “I’m a homeowner now, I’m a homeowner now, I’m a homeowner now.” I still didn’t feel any different though.
Back at the office I took off my jacket, which was soaking wet, opened the envelope and tossed the keys on my desk. I looked at them. I took a picture of them. Then I hung them on my map of Europe thumbtack and took another picture of them. Then I hung them on my bulletin board and took another picture of them. Then I hung them on my capital S on my bookcase and the capital S and my keys fell to the floor.
It was all very odd, really.
After work I went to the house and used the keys and then I started to feel like a homeowner. And a little bit more today, when Jamie and I took the mannequins and plants over to the house. I’ll probably feel it even more on Monday when I move into the house, and Tuesday when I wake up there, and next month when I start making mortgage payments.
Right now I feel a little bit like a homeowner, and I’m happy. (I’m relieved that I’ve started liking my house again. The Magic 8-Ball doesn’t know what it’s talking about.)
The magic 8-ball doesn’t know anything.
I asked the Magic 8-Ball if that was true Robin, and it said “As I see it, yes.”
This sounds like a job for Occam’s Razor.
It reminds me of that puzzle about the two men at the fork in the road – one way will lead to great danger, the other to safety. One of the two men always lies and the other one always tells the truth. You don’t know which is which, and you can only ask one question of one man.
The longer I go on about it, the less I can remember why the Magic 8-Ball reminds me of that puzzle…
I just saw this puzzle in a movie. The question to ask is, “Are you a tree frog?”
The man who always lies will say “Yes.” The man who always tells the truth will say “No.” Simple!
The movie is “The Enigma of Kasper Hauser.” See my review.
congratulations. an anniversary and a new home. next year you will have two anniversaries to celebrate.
glad you are coming around about the house. You will love it soon. There will always be things that you hate about it (with me, it’s the cluster flies) but there is something special about owning your own home.
Robin, that’ll only tell you which man is lying – not which way is the path to safety! 😉 But I read your review and was intrigued. I’ll rent it.
Rintrah, thank you – my birthday was this week too, so there has been no shortage of things to celebrate. How is HollyGoLightly, by the way? Did she recover from that random act of violence?
Debbie, are cluster flies like fruit flies? Because I’m looking forward to moving away from my fruit flies. I haven’t seen Sparky the Shower Spider for a few days, but if he surfaces again before I move, I’ll pack him and take him to the new place.
It didn’t work for Kaspar Hauser either.
Woohoo!
Happy belated birthday and happy home-owning Zoom! You deserve all the benefits of homeowning without any of the pitfalls just for waiting it out and being so cautious!
I haven’t received an invitation to your house-warming party yet, but I’m sure it’s on the way.
TechWood aka Rob
Robin, too bad Kaspar lived in the pre-Magic-8-Ball era. It sounds like he could’ve used all the help he could get 😉
TechWood, it wouldn’t be a housewarming party without you! I’m thinking a Saturday towards the end of November. Everybody here is invited. Details to follow.
Hooray, the house is officially yours now……your are a house owner! Hooray again and congratulations
Good luck with the move and……never trust the answers of a Magic-8- ball 😉
Congratulations on becoming a homeowner!
Fruit flies really do like fruit and any remnants or particles thereof. When you unpack and gradually move in, do a cleaning as you unpack and maybe those pesky creatures won’t follow. Their ability to appear out of “nowhere” led to the theory of spontaneous generation but as easily as they appear, so they disappear if not given any fruit. My friend has a theory that this is how lawyers appear – leave dusty books and papers lying about and you will spontaneously generate lawyers. I wish I’d thought of it.
I have not seen Holly in quite a bit. She did not get written off even though the cost to repair it was about 75% of her value. The Vespa dealership in town is doing the repairs and she will be in tip-top shape come spring.
Congratulations. I’m sure you will be very happy in your new home.
Congratulations!! and Happy belated birthday!! They say good things come in threes, let’s wait and see what the third will be.
Gabby got off in a sea of tears on Tuesday. I went down on the couch in a puddle after dropping her off at the airport at 6am.
I am recovered now and hey, everytime the phone rings now…i’ts for me, yippee!! Anyway looking forward to seeing your new digs.
Sue
Congratulations on the new home..It will all work out.
you’ll wonder to your self years from now what it was like to not be a home owner. Sorry I missed Stuart’s parties at the end of
the season but I have read your site and have tried to keep up
with all the singing & fun..
You have a talent for writing…Keep it up
I would also like the pattern for your nordic moccasin/socks
if you ever get the chance..
Keep me in mind for your house warming
Congrats on the house! I think it took me about three or four months before I felt like we really owned our house. Part of taking over ownership was definately removing the horrendous gigantic pink and red poppy-infested drapes left by the previous owners. :o)
Sue;
Cluster flies are the great big black ones that can hardly move except to fall into whatever glass you are drinking out of…we had them in Kinburn. Common to country properties and old houses. They love warmth and come out on sunny days and cover your windows or the side of the house.
Look at all the comments! You guys are SUPER.
Thanks all of you for the kind and encouraging words about moving and my new home.
Carole, don’t worry, you’ve got three kids, they’ll probably be moving in and out for years to come.
Rita, we’ve missed you on Thursday nights lately, but barbecue season ain’t over yet (at least not at Stuart’s). Why don’t you come this Thursday?
Rintrah, I’m glad you decided to save Holly’s life – she sounds genuinely worthy of your love and devotion.
Liss, most of what the previous owner of this house left behind was good and useful, with the notable exception of the fake plants.
Julia, it worked, the fruit flies stayed behind!
Debbie, I remember the giant lazy flies in Kinburn – there were always dozens of carcasses stuck to those revolting sticky fly paper strips hanging from the ceilings of everybody’s houses. I didn’t know they were called cluster flies.