Frank Plummer died on Monday, but I didn’t hear about it until today when I happened to read it on Miss Misse’s blog. She didn’t use his last name, but I felt the shock of recognition about halfway through her post. I searched the obit archives at the Ottawa Citizen, and found it.
Frank Plummer, just 40 years old, so completely alive and then suddenly so shockingly dead. The funeral had already started when I learned of his death, so I dropped everything and ran to the funeral home. I joined the crowd, which was bigger than the chapel. Standing room only, spilling out into the lobby. Peter saw me right away and gave me a big hug, which made me feel both better and worse at the same time. I stood and listened to the steady stream of eulogies, some funny, all touching. So many wonderful Frank stories.
I can’t remember the first time I met Frank, but I feel like I’ve always known him. I think we might have first met when he was a bartender at Irene’s Pub, twenty years ago or so.
If you live in Ottawa, you’ve almost certainly seen him: he had 30 pounds of dreadlocks down to his waist, a genuinely infectious smile, a big warm laugh, and an absolutely natural and engaging way with people. He included everybody and he made everybody around him feel good.
Frank was a bartender, a knitter, a runner, a bike courier, a contractor, and much, much more. I used to run into him all the time when he was a bike courier, but I hadn’t seen him for quite awhile. I was thinking about him just the other day.
My son adored Frank. Frank used to come and get Jamie when Jamie was a little boy, and they’d go play for a couple of hours. One day I asked Jamie where they’d gone and what they did, and he said “We walked right up Bank Street and said “hubba hubba” to all the pretty girls.” My feminist sensibilities kicked that around a bit, but then I realized if there were any two males on the planet who could make this seem charming, even to pretty girls, it was Frank and Jamie.
I remember the Mother’s Day when Jamie was about five and he woke me up at dawn and thrust a gift into my hands. “Open it!” he said, “Open it, it’s from me, it’s a present, it’s for Mother’s Day, open it!”
I opened it: it was a gaudy purple and gold sparkly scarf, something only a five-year-old would find exquisitely beautiful. My little boy was so thrilled to be giving me this decadent store-bought gift. I had no idea where it had come from. It turned out Frank had taken him out shopping to buy me a Mothers Day gift a few days earlier. I was so touched by that: touched that Frank had thought to do that for Jamie and for me, touched by Jamie’s taste, and touched that he managed to keep it a secret for days. I still treasure that scarf.
Another time Frank and Jamie got a foster child in a third world country through World Vision. Frank made the payments and Jamie handled all the correspondence. (I think they ran out of money and steam after a few months, but they were totally committed for a bit.)
Jamie named his first budgie Frank. That’s the ultimate compliment, when a child names their pet after you. Frank was worthy of a child’s highest compliment.
I knew both Frank and his wife Joey before they knew each other. I remember when Joey had a crush on Frank, but it took him forever to realize it, probably because he was so used to everybody loving him. Joey wasn’t about to throw herself at him, and hints didn’t seem to be working. I can’t remember how she finally managed to convey to him that she was interested in him romantically, but eventually he got the message, and a romance was born. And then two little girls were born.
The only time I saw Frank looking miserable was in the hospital when Joey was in labour with their first child, Thea. He was having a very hard time watching Joey suffer through labour. I was in the waiting room, and Frank kept running back and forth between the labour room and the bathroom. It’s the only time I ever saw a black man look green.
His littlest girl, Sophie, played violin at his funeral. Those of us who were barely holding ourselves together lost it at that point.
It was a sad funeral, but it was a glowing tribute to a life well lived. Frank knew how to live. He knew what was important. He knew how to have fun. He knew how to love. He knew how to be happy and how to share his happiness. He lived his life with joy. It all seemed so instinctive for him. This world is a better place because Frank Plummer was in it. I feel so lucky to have known him, but heartbroken that he’s gone.
Rest in peace Frank.
From the blackboard at Irene’s Pub in the Glebe:
I found a few other mentions of Frank’s passing in the blogosphere:
- To Frank, a friend to all (Rejean Demers)
- Frank Plummer (Juice)
- This week we lost an amazing member of our community (Miss Misse)
- Today was a day full of so much (Miss Misse, second post)
- My friend Frank Plummer, Master of All Trades… (Boyce’s Paper)
Another beautiful human has passed away ……
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Dakota, I appreciate that.
(Thank you also to the people who sent me emails about Frank.)
Frank Plummer was my much loved son in law, his wife Joey being my daughter and Thea and Sophie my grandaughters. I am very touched by all of the wonderful and heartfelt comments about Frank. He was a gift to us all and the void will be overwhelming. Thank you.
Judith, I’m so sorry for your loss. I was thinking about Joey and the girls and the rest of Frank’s family today, wondering how you were all coping this Thanksgiving Day. I can only imagine how devastating this must be for all of you who were closest to him.
Thank you to everyone for your moving tributes to my brother-in-law Frank. We are all still in shock, but have found comfort in the outpouring of sympathy,funny and moving stories about Frank, and offerings of help. I know Joey and Thea and Sophie will be well looked after and watched over by the wonderful community in the Glebe and beyond. My children have lost a spirited, kind, and thoroughly original uncle and I have lost a cherished friend and member of my family. Thank you to everyone for your support and kind words. Shelagh Cooke
Shelagh, thank you for stopping by. My heart goes out to you and your children.
I love your term “thoroughly original” to describe Frank: he was definitely unique, and I wish there were more like him.
i like the comments on dad
Sophie, I am SO SO SO sorry you lost your wonderful dad. He was such a special man and you were so lucky to have him as a dad.
I loved it when you played your violin at his funeral. I thought you were very brave.
Thank you for visiting my blog, and I hope you come back again.
Hello all. I thought I might use this site to reach more people. I wanted to thank EVERYBODY who has brought us food and called and said kind words. I am slowly writing my thank you cards but will undoubtedly miss people who dropped food off when I wasn’t home or was just too scattered to keep track. I want to thank the person who brought my garbage cans in. I want to thank the people who took my psychotic dog out for a much needed walk. I want to thank the people who gave me booze and Archie comics for my kids, (the booze was for me, not the kids) I want to thank the friends who check in with me daily. I want to thank Capitol Home Hardware on Bank St. for not letting me pay Frank’s account. I want to thank everybody who is keeping an eye on my kids and letting them know that they care. Thank you to my work buddies who took over my files. I still expect Frank to stomp in the door and throw his
huge set of keys on the table. To all those who read this…Hug your children and your spouse and tell them every day that you love them. Thanks, Joey
Joey, I’m so sorry for your loss. You and Frank were one of the very few couples I know who actually did last ‘forever.’
Over the past couple of weeks, you and Thea and Sophie have never been far from my thoughts. I’ll be in touch soon. (Do you need any more booze? I deliver. 😉 )
Joey,
Today I got news about a dear high school friend who has left us. I have known Frank since his young days on Zator. My fondest memories of Frank were in high school…. Always smiling, always having fun….. lost touch with him after high school, but managed to meet up with him at a wedding when i was 20. I never did get a chance to see him again…. Frank ( Andy )was an amazing athlete… he was our scrum half in Rugby ( PIckering High School )and it did’nt matter how big a guy was Frank would go at him…he was fast, smart with ball, and never seemed to get tired…I can remember Frank and I coming home from a high school party and my mother meeting us at the window as we creeped across the lawn… his eyes lit up as I reassured him that I was putting all the blame on him !!!!! or when Frank and I would sit in Quazi’s driveway and drink Quazis stash hidden in the trailer.. i still remember his laugh and the moment…..
For his wife , son and daughter. I have never met you, but you were lucky to have shared your life with Frank.. Take care .
Dave Parekh
I’ve spent the last two weeks in Pickering with my mother, flooded by memories of Frank (Andrew)from the time I can first remember him as my big brother until now. I looked through elementary school and high school pictures. Beatiful pictures of his young friends and beautiful two girls – seeming to get bigger with each shot. It was strange to review his life from a baby picture right to a 40 year old man, to remember all of those memories from the time we were kids and realize now that his life is over – but I am so thankful and cherish the major part he played in my life. Dave Parekh it’s nice to read your comments – I always think of you, Quazi and Troy coming home with Frank at the wee morning hours as a common weekend (and weekly)thing. I have been very sad for the last few weeks but constantly come to the conclusion of being thankful to have been blessed with such a wonderful brother and friend. I have to be thankful for the full 40 years that Andrew lived and the wonderful ways that he influenced my life and character. His two girls Thea and Sophie are absolutely beautiful and I love them very much. I’m also thankful that Frank lived a full life and had the opportunity to have and live such a beautiful family life with his wonderful wife Joey and two beautiful girls and both gain so much from their lives as well as give to their lives. I know that life will be different from now on. I miss Andrew and imagine I’ll continue missing him everyday. He lives on in his family. And I see him, in nature and look in both of his kids. His fantastic laugh and smile and kind nature are still here with us all.
[…] I’ve been deeply touched by all the friends and family members of Frank Plummer (aka Andrew Plummer) who have visited this blog since his death just before Thanksgiving. Many have left comments, sent email messages, and shared memories of Frank. […]
My brother informed me of the sad news last week.Though I hadn`t seen Andrew for about 16 years,I could still feel the loss of somebody who I had always looked up to as one of my brothers good buddies.My sharpest memories of Frank are of him and his dreaded black,Yamaha 650.One night Frank and I were celebrating the start of a new job he had got through me.Before leaving his home Frank had yelled out,”I`ll pick you up on the bike in the morning,so don`t sleep in”.The next day I was up in time for my ride but Frank wasn`t.Finally I could hear the sound of that bike screaming down Krosno Ave.Frank quickly removed his helmet and revealed his still fuzzy eyes.”Here put this on” he said as he handed me an outdated hockey helmet.I laughed my head off,and climbed aboard.I could hear Frank laughing through his helmet all the way to work as we passed people on the road as well as the shoulder.A warm hello to all of Franks family.We all feel your loss. Nigel Parekh.
Frank was an amazing person. We all loved him. One time Frank was running in a marathon in Hamilton. After it, he came back to my house in Toronto. He asked me to rub his feet. I did…but I was only three years old, so I did it. After that I learned a lesson…not to rub his feet ever again because they were pretty sweaty and stinky after the race. He was still very funny and nice and I really miss him because he lit up our family’s life. I always think of him now. He was a great guy.
Just found this now. Sad. I remember Frank from Irene’s and the Oak. He had so many qualities that I myself lack. That’s the thing, isn’t it? About life, about people. We all take something from each and every one, even though we don’t always see it. But we need more people like Frank. Big grinners immersed in the present. I’ve got to try harder.
[…] by then, as my spine surgery is a week from today. But Ottawa’s favourite bicycle courier, Frank Plummer, died of a blood clot at the age of 40, and he was a marathon […]
To Nadine, Ian and Mrs.Plummer(that’s how I will always know you) as well as his friends and family in Ottawa Iam truly sorry. I realize that this is very late but I never knew of your unfortunate loss until now. I was lucky to have known Frank(Andrew) when we were in high school and to have shared many great times with him.
He always had a big smile and infectious laugh that got everybody else laughing as well. I remember often watching the twilight zone with him at either his house or mine when we would arrive home.
He was the best athlete that I knew personally and we were often all in awe of his abilities.
I knew he left the area to go to university in Ottawa and I remember him coming back to Pickering and telling me that he had become a father. He was so happy about that.
I will always remember him